getting the reader to feel…

How could you?

I never uttered a single word! Did you hear me complain? When we met, you told me this was how you are, and I accepted you and we created a relationship based on truth, mutual respect, and love.

I let you date other women. I let you sleep around. I didn’t even bat an eyelash when you flirted with my sister! You knew I don’t care for any of it, but you fucked the boundaries just because you wanted to!

When my ex remarried you definitely called it, you said it wouldn’t last a year and they didn’t even make half of that. But neither of us could have expected her to come knocking on my door asking for a friend. She was the reason my ex kicked me out of my home, but that was also why I found you.. and I was grateful to her for that..

Then you had to go and make friends with her.. then you had to spend hours alone.. and kiss.. and you tried to make a second girlfriend work but with HER? All this time I have given you your freedom but you had to want her too?

Then you had to fuck her. Under my roof. And you promised you would tell me if it ever happened, you promised you would use protection. You were supposed to be honest, if nothing else we have always been honest… but you lied and you didn’t even use a condom.

How could you break my heart? And with her of all people?

I don’t want a new relationship. I don’t want to start over. I can’t face this world alone, and you know it. I’m stuck here with you.. I’m afraid.. I can’t make it on my own, I know nothing of how to handle bills and I don’t even make enough money to try.

I can’t feel the pain anymore and I am settling for what you’ve promised me: a roof, four walls, all bills paid, eating out when I want, romance, affection, sex whenever I am in the mood. You’re giving me comfort in this life and I am throwing away my dignity, and the possibility of true love, a soul mate..

I am too tired to fight for what I want. I am too weak to go out and get it elsewhere. You’re all I have. And all I want to do is lay in the tub with an exactoknife and slip into the next great adventure.

Maybe in the next life I will be homeless, but loved.

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