December 2012

The old man trailed off again. He’d been silent for at least a full ten minutes. I was starting to wonder if this story had a happy ending or if I would ever hear it if it did.
Finally I nudged him with my foot a few times, until he stirred back into this dimension.

He smiled at me and asked, “Did I tell you the first time we fucked like bunnies?”

I shook my head and chuckled, silently begging the old man to continue his story.

“It was December, I think. In 2012.. The day the Aztecs said the world was going to end. I was living with my mother, and my wife even though we were separated, and my baby girl.”

How classy, I couldn’t help but think as he continued.

“I tried to leave my mother’s house several times, lord knows I was making enough money to do it, but my poor old mother always guilted me into moving back in..”

“How does the coffee girl fit in?”

“Oh my mother loved her. Juliet came over quite often.. She drove about an hour in the morning just to see me for a few minutes before I left for work at 6.”

I almost choked on my beverage. “In the morning?”

He nodded. “Then she spent all day helping my mother and didn’t usually see me again until after 8pm that night. Oh, but I was going to tell you about December!”

The man could drag a story out, for sure.

“For whatever reason, she didn’t come over that morning.. she didn’t come over until after I got home and started missing her. So I called her. And she came. My wife was there, naturally.. We three went to the grocery store.. can’t remember why. That’s the day I noticed every man who laid eyes on Juliet couldn’t help but stare. She was thin, toned, and hour glass curves like a Disney character.”

“I loved watching them be jealous,” he continued. “By the time we got home, I’d become so turned on I couldn’t contain myself. Right on the couch, in front of God, my wife, my mother if she chose to emerge, I started making out with my Juliet. And we started to get naked.”

I felt a lump in my throat and quickly swallowed, trying not to seem eager for more.

“Juliet was shy though..” Gilbert chuckled. “So I convinced her to go with me into my room and we closed the door. She was shaking like a leaf, so innocent.. But God did she taste sweet.. And she had no idea how loud she was until I had to quiet her down more than once.”

“You fucked her in your wife’s bed?”

“No, that was just foreplay. I fucked her later on the couch, then on the floor.. We didn’t get any sleep that night. Luckily it was a Friday night, and if the world was going to end, we were going to die happily buried in each other.”


Gilbert: Meeting Juliet


Have I ever told you the story of how Juliet and I met?, Gilbert asked me with a twinkle in his old eye.

Searching my brain I decided he hadn’t, and I told him so.

It began on a hot summer day, he said. My wife at the time, and I, were always at each others throats.. I had just about had it. We were constantly bickering, and going home felt like a prison sentence. She and I knew we were over, and we were looking for ways to escape the prison.

The wife needed something and I went to the mall an hour out of the way to get it. Then I proceeded to spend another two hours just walking around the mall.

When I made it to my car, it was about 2 in the afternoon. I opened the passenger door, and put the small bag inside. I noticed in the car across from me, a woman seemed to be in distress. It looked like she was trying to start her old Honda, but nothing was happening.

The Honda’s door was open, I imagined the temperature inside was miserable without the A/C. And I could just see a little blond head in a carseat in the back.

As I shut the passenger door, she appeared to give up, her head on the wheel. Now, I didn’t know if I could help her.. but I knew I had to try.

She jumped when I tapped on her window. I realized how uneasy I had just made her.

“I don’t suppose you have a pen?”

She smiled, a big addicting smile and let out a nervous laugh.

“What seems to be the issue?”

“I can’t get the key to turn.”

“May I try?”

Her nerves came back and she glanced in the back seat. She wiped the sweat off her brow with a sigh, then nodded and stepped out.

“I’m Gilbert by the way.”

It took me two tries, and the key turned and the engine started over.

She was shaking her head when I stepped out.

“I’ve been trying for twenty minutes. It took you less than one.”

“I have a way with the world.”

“I bet you do..” She checked the backseat. The child was sleeping, and she breathed a sign of relief.

“You have a lot on your mind, don’t you.”

“You could say that,” another addictive grin. “Nothing more pressing than how to repay you for your kindness.”

I gave her a card with my number written on the back, mentioning a cop of coffee in or near future.